how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize