Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I want to be your penis for a week.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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