did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
