Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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