i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
