He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
