um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
