...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
