I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
