He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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