I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I could make wine with my vomit
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
