can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
