you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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