If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
