Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
