I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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