Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
