its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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