I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize