on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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