? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
