Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
