So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
