I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize