Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
