D3 body, D1 cock
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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