HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
