Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
