what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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