There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
