is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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