how can u be prego again
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
