dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize