did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize