you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
