he wants to bone in the snuggie
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
