Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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