whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
