I feel like I'm in dance class right now
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
