i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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