Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
