Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize