I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
