just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
