he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
