Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I checked into jail on foursquare
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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