I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He did a backflip because drugs
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