my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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