am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
