the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
