Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Text me some of your sweat
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