Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
