Me. At least after what I've been through.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Boobs speak an international language.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
