did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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