The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
