the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and she was petting her beer can
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize