help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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