All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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