Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He shit in the fireplace
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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