Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
