If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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