After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
