I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize