i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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